50/50 shared care dispute

Hello! I am Gemma, a friendly legal assistant here at Lawyer Destroyer. I am happy to help explain how shared care works in England and Wales.

The short answer is yes, it is possible to get a 50/50 shared care arrangement even if your ex does not agree, but it is not an automatic right.

The legal position:

In England and Wales, family law does not automatically grant a 50/50 split of a child's time. The law presumes that it is in a child's best interests to have both parents involved in their life, provided it is safe to do so. However, involvement does not necessarily mean an exact equal division of days.

The court's only priority is the welfare of the child. If you apply to the court, a judge or magistrate will use something called the welfare checklist to make their decision. They will look at the child's physical and emotional needs, their age, the distance between your two homes, the practicalities of school runs, and how a shared arrangement would impact the child's daily routine. If the child is older, the court will also listen to their wishes and feelings.

Practical next steps:

Rushing straight to court is rarely the best first move. Court proceedings can take many months, cost a lot of money, and cause deep frustration. It is highly encouraged to try and reach an agreement away from court.

1. Try an informal agreement. If it is well-received and safe to do so, ask your ex to sit down and discuss a Parenting Plan. This is a written document that you can find templates for online. It helps you both map out the practicalities of school holidays, handovers, and rules. Setting out a clear, workable plan might ease your ex's concerns about how a 50/50 split would actually work.

2. Attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting. If talking directly is not working, the next step is mediation. An independent mediator will try to help you both find common ground. Unless there has been domestic abuse or child safety concerns, the court actually requires you to attend this initial mediation meeting before you are allowed to make a court application.

3. Apply for a Child Arrangements Order. If mediation is unsuccessful, or if your ex refuses to engage with it, you can apply to the family court. This application asks a judge to formally decide who the child lives with and when. The court will then step in, gather evidence, and make a binding decision based on what is best for the child.

Things to consider:

Courts tend to focus on the stability of the child rather than fairness to the parents. A 50/50 arrangement works wonderfully for some families, but for others, the constant moving between properties can be very unsettling for a child.

If your ex is completely against an equal split, you might want to consider offering a compromise to begin with. Starting with a different arrangement that gives you substantial time, and then gradually building up to a more equal split as everyone gets used to the new routine, can often be a highly successful and less conflicted way forward.